Petals In The Wind by Robyn King

Petals In The Wind
It was a warm summers day and we decided to stop by the park to enjoy being with nature for awhile. I had recently started a Series I am still working on today on trees and thought maybe I would see a tree I was drawn too. Each tree I shoot I am drawn to in some way, the way the shadows and light contrast on it, it's unique shape, to me they have a personality a beauty I wish to capture through my lens. When I find a tree or any subject I am drawn to I get lost  in time and space shooting pictures. The beautiful blossoms drew me in first and as I walked closer their perfume filled the air enveloping you with welcoming arms:0) What a delicious smell!! I started adjusting my camera and taking pictures enjoying breathing that sweet scent. At this point I was under the tree and could smell nothing else and was truly content in that moment. I looked down at my feet and there were blossoms everywhere covering the brilliant grass.As I continued moving this way and that looking at different viewpoints petals were floating past me whispering softly until they were nestled like little angels between soft green grass.  I turned away reluctantly knowing I wanted to walk a little further and see the lake before I left. That is when I realized this amazing tree had given me a gift. I walked away smiling with flowers all through my hair, and a warmth within my heart. The scent followed me as I walked away as the sun kissed the summer sky.

Flight of the Bumblebee
Flying so swiftly,
Blossoms ever graceful,
No hesitation,
Embracing the wind.
Blossoms dancing,
Petals swaying,
Gifts await,
Within your depths.
Gliding on,
Warm winds blowing.
Once again,
Resting so briefly,
Then the journey,
Beginning yet again.
.
© 2013 Robyn L.King

Within the Darkness

I have been enjoying being a part of the Weekly Photo Project on Google. We have a different assignment every week and everyone posts once a week on Mondays with the current one or if you miss one you can post whenever you can to catch up. Its a great group with beautiful work and I like how laid back it is. That works really well with how things are with my lifestyle these days. If you can't post until Tuesday noone worries about it the main concentration is learning and having fun.I love that! This week our assignment is night photography. They have a list up of all the assignments so you know what will be happening each week.I knew this week would be a real challenge for me since night photography isn't something I traditionally shoot as a rule. I then looked through my images to see just how many were night images.Very few and it's been awhile. No memorable night images since art school in fact..hmm. I began thinking about that one.. well it made sense they are not a simple walk in the park. A tripod is needed for the most part or a way to stabilize your camera. The exposures are tricky at times depending on the type of lighting. I started to remember the reasons I had avoided it like the plague:)Biggest reason my pain levels raise quite high in the evening on most days. That explained the last decade plus to me of why night time isn't picture time for me. Always up for a challenge though so I set out hoping for the best:)When it does go right you can get some really cool images I thought to myself. There were several shots I took on slide film that came out excellent at night of the liberty bell, boat house row, and the Franklin institute. Thinking back to those images wet my appetite for more. I tried to remember the exposure from way back then and I remembered using the bulb setting on my 35mm camera. This camera doesn't allow you to do that it's maximum time is 8 seconds. I knew my limitations so I just had to work within them..hey been doing that for over a decade I know I will get this done:)I included one of the pictures I took on my journey to taking my final

picture. This picture was hand held and because of my tremors it flared the light like a torch. Some accidents are happy ones and taking the journey is most important to me always.

Windswept Trees

                                         Windswept Trees

Yesterday was a really great day. The first time I was able to take a walk since hurting my foot all those weeks ago. Luckily it wasn't broken I was so relieved to hear that. The doctor found a problem with my ankle.. a weakening of the joints and hitting it set off that underlying problem. He said it will continue to get worse over time but I think on the scale of things I will worry if and when I have to. Finally shook off the cold I was battling so things are better that way too. I spent the morning processing the shots from yesterday and love the effect that overcast light has not only on the shadows but on the color itself. To me it is the best of both worlds black and white and color. I enjoy using that play of a little touch of color and because of the lighting the scene appears almost monochrome. I remember the first time I shot pictures on such a day many years ago. It was drizzling real light off and on and my teacher (this is going back many years while I was still in college) said today we shoot outside with a huge grin on his face. I will see you all here when you are done to start processing and no cheating I will know by the light. To make it interesting you have to shoot something in the immediate area that says Philadelphia when you see it and no pictures of the homeless that's not what I mean. Everyone starting complaining it's raining it won't come out right there's no sun. My camera is going to get wet all kinds of stuff. I just kind of waited to see what would happen next. We all want to be photographers right? Everyone started nodding saying sure begrudgingly. Well then we must learn this important lesson. Be able to adapt to any situation and that includes the weather. You must know how to deal with all kinds of lighting and I think today will surprise you when you see what you get. Remember to bracket your shots always a good idea especially if you aren't sure of the light situation and pay attention to your meter. He was so right on alot of things. First it taught us how to think on our feet in a short amount of time. We got about 30  minutes to take the pictures if my memory serves me. Secondly I got a piece out of it that was moody,contrasty and looked great.. nothing like I thought it would on such a cloudy miserable day. When I looked outside yesterday and it was murky overcast and looking like it was going to rain any second.. I went out anyway with a huge smile on my face.

It's All Right Angles

Did you ever notice it's the casual things you do that can really come back at you. All I did was flip over in bed and Bam I whomped the top of my left foot on the nightstand. Really hard too brought tears out a scream before you can squelch it down you get the idea. Oh no! Grab the lidocaine patches put one on hurry up it's already swelling and turning red and colors. Within minutes freezing cold now and burning like on an open flame. Took my prescription the pain doctor gives me for flares and hoped for the best. Been treating it for two and a half weeks.. it's not better but has spread out and is flared up in other areas that weren't injured now.. CRPS at it's finest sigh. At the pain management doctor today. She has strong suspiscions of a stress fracture, so I am off to the foot specialist the following day. Luckily even though I was a new patient they squeezed me in, x-rayed it, and put a splint on it. They wouldn't be able to cast it even if it was broken because of the CRPS. Putting a cast on someone who has that would cripple them. It's a waiting game for it to heal anyway so when I come in next week we will discuss the x-ray. Since there is nothing else to do.. I say can I walk on it and the doc says sure unless you can fly:) I love that! Gotta love a doctor with a sense of humor he was really nice. I mean for two plus weeks I was walking on it anyway how else was I supposed to move around:)Today I go back to find out what is going on with this foot at least what he can figure from the xray. I haven't been too mobile for my walks where I shoot pictures so I did a little set up to cheer me up. I started shooting his face and ended up with his feet. I am a little obsessed with feet this week and it made me smile.

Have been wanting to write for awhile now...

Have been wanting to stop in and write an entry for awhile and something always seems to get in the way. It has been months since my last entry and boy have I been keeping busy with my boards and photography and recently another treatment. Also we have a house guest for a short while of the furry variety a service dog who belongs to my friend. I am helping her out while she relocates from out of state and the dog, Sparo has been keeping me busy as well. I want to go back to my last treatment it was my first treatment since I stopped taking pain medicine. When I was first diagnosed with CRPS they didn't know that pain killers put up a type of wall which blocks the treatment effects somewhat. They suspected this at some point but weren't sure.. then with more research have become more convinced. Anyhow I finally decided no matter how painful it was I was going off the meds I had been using to be able to move. Luckily I always insisted on keeping my dose low and dealing with a certain level of pain so I have a bit of pain tolerance. Within a week I had weaned myself off and was living life still on my other meds but no more pain meds I was so glad. The pain was bad I don't want to kid anyone but I was determined not to take the medicine again and haven't for ten months my choice. Two months later I had my treatment and it was way different than my past treatments. The medicine wasn't in the way so I was hit full force and for two days I could not walk a straight line to save my life. It was a little scary how much of an effect it had on me. I couldn't remember how to spell certain words at first, remember the steps I already had learned to print my photos in photoshop.. the connections were all messed up in my brain. My lesions disappeared and I felt a energy that I hadn't enjoyed in a long time and the pain was real low almost totally gone. When a person is given the Ketamine treatments it is like rebooting a computer and my system was still rewiring itself. It took several weeks to even out again and I found out my reaction meant the treatment really took. Things were great until the bloodwork had to be done and I took a long ride in the car to check out this cooperative gallery. It was an hour each way and the vibration was too much for me but I had to know if my body could withstand that ride. At this point not yet maybe some point in the future but the car continues to remain an obstacle for me. Even short rides flare me but not as badly. It can be very frustrating at times but at least I got to visit with my best friend that night who lives close by the gallery. We haven't seen each other in quite awhile so that right there made the trip very worthwhile for me:) I bounced back after a few weeks but not to where I was right after receiving the treatment. Unfortunately either the bloodwork or the ride or both wouldn't let that happen but I was still happy to have some time to do my photography in between flares. Before I knew it three months had passed and lesions were popping out real bad and I was due to go back in again. I just had that treatment five days ago but not feeling like last time. The cold seemed to mess things up a bit this time. It's like your body has become this sensitized thing and all these things affect it now. I try to look at it like it will do what it wants to.. smile and make the best of it and enjoy your life because otherwise you will get caught up in all the little things. It's frustrating then I move on and take another picture or hug my husband and it fades away and doesn't matter so much. Like I tell my son when he goes out the door to work smile and wave it makes it all okay:)

It is a beautiful new day by Robyn King

The sun is shining and it is a beautiful day. The past two days I woke with the darkness and made the trek into Center City with all the other commuters. My destination was to get to my treatments on time not go to a job or other commitment. My bag was on standby from the night before with a discman, extra music, blanket, and money for my Mother-in -law to park since long term street parking (more than an hour or two) is unheard of in town. We figured out pretty quickly which lots were more convient and fairly priced and those are the ones we use. Finally, six a.m. rolled around and it was time to make the drive downtown. We live about a half hour away. I was in really sad shape and had been for the past few weeks. I had trouble maneuvering the stairs to get out of the house to the car and the fun hadn’t even started yet. The vibrations of the car or any vibration amplify and flare the symptoms for people with CRPS. The car, plane, boat, train, motorcycle become your enemy after awhile.It is frustrating and embarrassing when concerned people ask what is wrong and the person struggles to answer. How would you feel saying the car is hurting me? Now these are well meaning lovely people who love you and the looks you get are confusion or I think she is losing it that makes it so hard. They are just as confused as the person is whose in pain. Sounds crazy that a car’s vibration could hurt anyone, but that is exactly what it is doing. The vibrations are hurting the person’s nervous system by stimulating an over stimulated system which in turn creates greater pain. Anyway getting back to the drive downtown. Going into it with a week of chest pains so strong they knocked me into bed not an easy feat let me tell you(I'm very particular about my freedom so I have looked a bit like this lately:(, every breath became a struggle, I shook when I tried to walk, couldn‘t sit up or stand up anywhere close to straight. I’m 48 years old and was moving like a ninety year old it was really sad. The pain mimics a heart attack but isn’t one. It is my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome saying hello in a grand way. The symptoms feel the same with sharp pain through the chest deep down and shoot through between the back of my shoulder blades.There is also pain and numbness into the left face and arm. I rushed to the er in the past over it and ended up with them testing my heart finding out it was perfectly fine and giving me a shot for the pain. I was referred to a great cardio doctor and he explained it to me. The nerves inside your chest swell and then they squeeze your heart like a glove that is too tight which makes it have to work much harder. The pain and the squeezing is the pain you feel and you need to take blood pressure medicine to keep it in check twice a day until they can find a way around this (a cure)even though you don’t have traditional high blood pressure it will protect your heart from becoming damaged. Well what would you do? I take the pills twice a day and never skip. They help and the only fall off is during an extreme flare-up or if I over exert myself. I did a lot of visualation, breathing and some meditation to get through the ride downtown. It is easy, costs nothing, and all you need is your own mind and the will to try. I remember a time I thought that these things couldn’t possibly work but they do. Pain in your life has a way of making you want to try new things at least for me it has that effect. I want to know if it could help and if it does happy dayJ I try hard to keep my mind open now to alternative ways of crossing the pain barrier. Well two days of treatment made it through thatJ Feeling much better than I was but still real shaky need lots of rest the first week to make sure it takes. Also have to get my blood drawn to check levels and make sure my liver is doing good. Unfortunately my body doesn't react good to the needle stick since having CRPS, but that will pass. No choice since it has to be done. Once I bounce back from that I will be posting a lot more and in the meantime will be taking the slower road for a few weeks. Love and Heart Felt Smiles to You All, Robyn